Playground etiquette 

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Is there such a thing? I feel like I’m a horrible group kind of mother. I’m never going to be one of those moms that goes to the playground to let my kid play so I can sit and look at my phone or talk to other women. I may go with a friend or 2 with their kids and play all together. I don’t want to go there to bring Savanna a good time and not enjoy it myself with her. I love the joy on her face when she’s swinging, I always want to be there to see that. To be in that moment. 
As I sat on the regular swings with Savanna on my lap – because some mom thought it was ok for her 3 or 4 year old to swing in the baby swing – I looked around at what was going on. It is like a high school environment. You can tell which moms come all the time together and stick together. You can see the loners, who don’t want anything to do with anyone. And there are a few very involved parents who just want to enjoy the time with their kids. 

Maybe I’m being very judgemental but when a little girl runs up and asks me to help her swing because her mommy will say no, or 2 boys are extremely excited by feeding the goats but the mom is too busy on her phone to notice, I get annoyed. I take my phone out but only to take an obnoxious amount of pictures of my beautiful girl. It seems so disconnected. Don’t get me wrong, I have moments where I just need to take a step back and breathe. I get overwhelmed and stressed, but I don’t want to look back 5 years from now when she can do all of those playground things herself and regret not being there for her. (But of course 5 years from now I will still be there embarrassing her in front of her friends.) 🙂 

My most embarrassing moment I have had on a whole took place today. As I’m holding my little love bug, I went to sit on the swing with her in my arms and I fell flat on my butt. I looked to see if anyone saw me, as I wanted to run off, and the mom next to me was either in a world of her own while pushing her child, or was laughing her butt off behind her sun glasses. I couldn’t tell, because she said nothing. Good thing about the situation was Savanna didn’t know I didn’t mean to do that, so she enjoyed every second. Haha.

So, what is the right playground etiquette? Am I supposed to introduce myself to other moms? Was I supposed to help the little girl swing? Is it ok to walk away from your baby on the baby swing and leave her alone with strangers around? (Not me obviously) Is it ok that I wanted to say good job, you rock! to the woman with an infant in the baby carrier and another baby on the hip? Is it ok that I wanted to make a smartass comment to the moms on their phones? Is it ok that my baby wants to smile and wave at everyone that passes her by and I want to trip the people that look and don’t respond? 

Gosh, I’m a bad playground mom. Apparently I don’t play well with others. But, that’s ok, because the most important person had a blast today, and that’s the only thing that matters to me. Maybe one day I’ll be more friendly, but that’ll only be because of my social butterfly making me!

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I love being a mom. Some days are harder than others, but I make it through for her. I know that tomorrow will always be better.

But every day we have each other, is a great day, even if its a tough one.a0efd8ed3494a14910a94412d4496d71

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My baby girl’s birthday

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It happened.

My little baby girl turned one.

I’m so excited and so sad at the same time. We have had a ton of fun the past week. We went to the zoo, did lots of shopping, spent a lot of quality time together and had a first birthday bash with our family and friends. I simply couldn’t ask for anything more. My heart is so happy and so, so full.

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My letter to my daughter on her first birthday

(Side note: Savvys birthday is May 11, 2015) 

Dear Savanna Jolene,
To my best friend, my first born, my baby girl, my daughter. 
I can’t believe a whole year has gone by already. My how you have grown. You are beyond a doubt the most amazing little girl I have ever met in my life. I feel so privileged to call you my own; to be your mommy. I sit here crying my eyes out because of my love for you. My heart just explodes with pure gratification and pure undying love for you. I hope you never forget that. I’m sure in the future we will have our fights and arguments but know that no matter what it is over or about, I will always have this love for you. And it grows stronger day after day.
In one year you completely changed my life. 

Little girl, I thought I knew what love was, but boy was I wrong. I have never felt love like this. 

I never thought I could be this scared or have this much anxiety! But, oh boy is this the most terrifying thing I have ever done. Every time you do something new my heart skips a beat and I worry that you will be ok. I hope you don’t inherit my anxiety, it isn’t fun! But if you do, I’ll teach you how to deal with it. It’s not easy but manageable. Especially with your smiling face at me. 

I didn’t know I needed you this much. I thought I had life figured out. I thought I knew what I was doing with life, again I was wrong. 

All my life began when I gave birth to you. Nothing will be the same and I don’t want it to ever change. The day I gave birth to you, I feel like I became who I’m supposed to be. I was made to be your mother. I finally feel like I belong. You did that for me and I will never be able to thank you enough. But I will try with millions of kisses everyday. 
Seeing you grow throughout this year has been amazing. You went from being fully dependent on me, to being able to do many things on your own. 

You prefer to feed yourself now, except milk time-which I cherish every second of. 

You are great at playing by yourself. Which usually means pulling yourself up on everything and getting into anything and everything possible. I don’t mind usually, I love when you explore, i just get nervous and cringe a lot because I don’t want you to hurt yourself! You hit your head pretty hard a couple of times and I’m pretty sure I cried more than you. I feel like that every time you fall. 

You are doing better at the babysitters. They tell me that you are perfectly fine when I walk out the door. As I still cry when I get to the car. I still know that I am not cut out to be a working mom. I need to be a stay at home mom with you and I’m trying to be. I’m working very hard to get there. 
There are so many stories and little things about you I would love to relive and tell you. I want to remember every second. You’re so amazing. Thank you for being you. Thank you for giving me the best year of my life. I can’t wait to continue to see you grow into who you are meant to be. I will be there for all the milestones, for everything. I won’t miss a thing baby girl. I love you more than words can describe. You are my world my love. Happy first birthday, and to many, many more together!! 

I love you baby girl, to the moon and back. (And then some.) 

❤️

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Boss Lady

I’ve never liked working for other people, but who does? I’m a very independent person by nature and I like continuity in life. So, how can I work for myself? That’s the million-dollar question I have been searching to answer. I figure, I just need to jump in and try a few things. I love to write, hence the blog. Another thing I love is jewelry and fashion. I do not have an excess of money to spend on clothing or jewelry, so most of the time I’m just an observer and dreamer (my Pinterest closet is amazing!).

So I started the blog, I just need to keep up at it and make is a daily thing. I blog in my head all the time, I wish that would somehow find its way on here. My next step was trying to figure out how to enjoy my love of jewelry and fashion. I decided to join Chloe + Isabel as a jewelry merchandiser. I love the jewelry they sell, so why not!? I’m going to give it a shot. It’s starting quite slow as I don’t have a lot of time to put in it everyday, but I am going to try and put some time aside for it. I want to make it work.

I want to work for me. I’d be an amazing boss. I want to, so I will.

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Check out my boutique here!

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My 5 Favorite Pins of the week…so far

I. Love. Pinterest.

I recently started a new one because I felt disconnected from the previous pins I had because I was away from it for so long. I was working doing a companies Pinterest, so I didn’t do mine. Instead of deleting them all, I started over, and am having so much fun! Follow me here if you don’t already!

  1. Kitchen interior

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2. Bathroom vanity

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3. Amazing architectural lines

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4. Baby girl nursery

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5. Cute puppy quote (because why not!?)

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A new goal

Some moms are meant to be stay at home moms, so moms want to work. The joke while I was in college was that Justin kept telling me to go to school to make him a stay at home daddy. I thought I wanted to work. I was always a career minded person with strict goals ahead. I knew what I wanted to be and was slowly going that way.

Maybe one day I will continue that dream/goal. For now, I want more than anything to be at home with my girl. Justin doesn’t necessarily want to work, but I think out of the two of us, I need to stay home. My heart just isn’t into a career right now. My heart is with that little sassy girl everyday.

I have many ideas on how to make that happen, and I’m working on it slowly. It’s so much harder than I thought it would be. Damn bills. Growing up is not fun on some levels and life is not cheap.

But I have a new goal now, and I will not stop trying until I reach it. I want to stay home and raise my little girl, and I will.

Soon, I hope.image

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