Is there such a thing? I feel like I’m a horrible group kind of mother. I’m never going to be one of those moms that goes to the playground to let my kid play so I can sit and look at my phone or talk to other women. I may go with a friend or 2 with their kids and play all together. I don’t want to go there to bring Savanna a good time and not enjoy it myself with her. I love the joy on her face when she’s swinging, I always want to be there to see that. To be in that moment. As I sat on the regular swings with Savanna on my lap – because some mom thought it was ok for her 3 or 4 year old to swing in the baby swing – I looked around at what was going on. It is like a high school environment. You can tell which moms come all the time together and stick together. You can see the loners, who don’t want anything to do with anyone. And there are a few very involved parents who just want to enjoy the time with their kids. Maybe I’m being very judgemental but when a little girl runs up and asks me to help her swing because her mommy will say no, or 2 boys are extremely excited by feeding the goats but the mom is too busy on her phone to notice, I get annoyed. I take my phone out but only to take an obnoxious amount of pictures of my beautiful girl. It seems so disconnected. Don’t get me wrong, I have moments where I just need to take a step back and breathe. I get overwhelmed and stressed, but I don’t want to look back 5 years from now when she can do all of those playground things herself and regret not being there for her. (But of course 5 years from now I will still be there embarrassing her […]
These floors! *Drool.* Pinterest Website 2. Just beautiful. And amazing to think of the work that went into this. Incredible. Pin Website 3. Need. Pin Website 4. I’m trying to teach Savanna some signs so we can communicate better. She has “more” down. We are working on the rest! Pin Website 5. So true. I’m constantly think about what is best for my girl. She’s number one now, always will be. Pin Website
I love being a mom. Some days are harder than others, but I make it through for her. I know that tomorrow will always be better. But every day we have each other, is a great day, even if its a tough one.
It happened. My little baby girl turned one. I’m so excited and so sad at the same time. We have had a ton of fun the past week. We went to the zoo, did lots of shopping, spent a lot of quality time together and had a first birthday bash with our family and friends. I simply couldn’t ask for anything more. My heart is so happy and so, so full.
(Side note: Savvys birthday is May 11, 2015) Dear Savanna Jolene, To my best friend, my first born, my baby girl, my daughter. I can’t believe a whole year has gone by already. My how you have grown. You are beyond a doubt the most amazing little girl I have ever met in my life. I feel so privileged to call you my own; to be your mommy. I sit here crying my eyes out because of my love for you. My heart just explodes with pure gratification and pure undying love for you. I hope you never forget that. I’m sure in the future we will have our fights and arguments but know that no matter what it is over or about, I will always have this love for you. And it grows stronger day after day. In one year you completely changed my life. Little girl, I thought I knew what love was, but boy was I wrong. I have never felt love like this. I never thought I could be this scared or have this much anxiety! But, oh boy is this the most terrifying thing I have ever done. Every time you do something new my heart skips a beat and I worry that you will be ok. I hope you don’t inherit my anxiety, it isn’t fun! But if you do, I’ll teach you how to deal with it. It’s not easy but manageable. Especially with your smiling face at me. I didn’t know I needed you this much. I thought I had life figured out. I thought I knew what I was doing with life, again I was wrong. All my life began when I gave birth to you. Nothing will be the same and I don’t want it to ever change. The day I gave birth to you, I feel like I became who I’m supposed to be. I was made to be your mother. I finally feel like I belong. You did that for me and I […]